Lonely Heart
by kittens0020
Summary: Lily Evans transfers to Hogwart's during her fifth year. Lily is plagued by tragedy and horrors beyond imagine. Lily must become the most hated and coldest girl in Hogwarts to keep her secrets safe because with one slip up it can cost her,her life.
1. The Mask I Must Take

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters you recognize in this fanfiction. Please don't sure me.

**Chapter One**: The Mask I Must Take

I sit there watching the rain pour down the window of my compartment. My cold lifeless eye's scanning the landscape. Inside I want to scream but I can't. My life is filled with horrors beyond imagine. I can't have friends; I already promised myself I wouldn't let anybody else see the pain and suffering that is my life.

I should start from the beginning of my life to at this moment in time. Hi my name is Lilliana Marie Evans but my friends just call me Lily for short. My birth name was Lilliana Catalin. My Father was one of the most evil dark wizards in the world. He went by the name of Grindelwald. He was obsessed with killing every muggle-born witch or wizard in this world. I will tell you more about him later. My mother was the ice-queen. She was the most powerful witch in the world until my father killed her. My Mother gave me her powers over ice one day I will take over the ice kingdom. Back to my father. He made me his heir I trained every day and every moment I cant remember him when I wasn't being trained. He taught more dark-arts then Voldemort. I personally can't stand using them. They make you draw from your feelings of hatred and pain. As punishment I would be hit with the 'Crucio' which caused so much pain. After years of this I became numb to even the most powerful Cruciatus curse. When I was eight I couldn't take the pain anymore and the only blood on my hands was his. Yes, I killed my own father. Yes, I am pureblood and Yes, I am a ruler of my kingdom.

After I killed my father I ran as fast as I could. When I was running I saw a copy of the next day's Daily Prophet and in the headlines it read "Grindelwald Dead, Daughter Believed to be Dead Too." I knew that I could not return as Lilliana Catalin to the magical world for many years. There was even a picture of me on the cover. I ran for miles until someone saw me on the streets and they took me to a homeless shelter where my new family, the Evans, adopted me. Life didn't go as planned with them either. My parents abused me to them I just was a personal slave. Sure they were rich and they always gave me nice clothes. But, that was only to hide the bruises and scars made from their beatings. I had one sister who hated me her name is Petunia and to her I was a freak. She ignored me as much as possible. But when I am being beaten' by my parents I see the sorrow and concern in her eyes. I know that deep down inside she did care about me a little.

When I was eleven I received my letter to Beauxbatons. Where I attended until I was in my fifth year under the name of Evans. At Beauxbatons I was the star pupil. I was the nice girl, the one who can always lend an ear, the super Quidditch player, the straight O student and the most popular girl in school. Everyone wanted to be me but I always wanted to be them and to have a life without pain or suffering. The only reason why my parents let me go to wizarding school is because it can get me away for 9 months of the year. My three best friends there were more than my best friends they were my secret keepers. As I was to them. We three were the most popular people in school. But we all have secrets, right? We are bounded together by are secrets. We share all our secrets. They know the pain I had in my childhood to my adoptive parents. They are there for me when I need them most and I am always there for them.

My friends know about my masks. It is my protection when everything else fails. During my training when I was younger I could become any attitude I wanted. All from the cool, calm, collect girl to the cold-hearted bitch. I don't even know my true personality anymore. It disappeared and I don't know how to get it back.

In my fifth year at Beuxbatons I moved and I was transferred to Hogwarts. And when I look out the window on the Hogwarts Express and I see my reflection staring back at me. I saw the mask I must take at Hogwarts, Hogwarts welcome the cold-hearted bitch that everyone hates because if there is one thing I know is that I must avoid making friends at all cost even if I have to make enemies in the process because I must proctect them from the pain of my world, where I must fight everyday to stay alive. With Lord Voldemort rising I knew that eventually he will find me and he will want me to go to the dark side and return to the world I ran away from.


	2. Perfection is a Flaw

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters you recognize. Please don't sue me.

**Chapter Two**- Perfection is a Flaw

I like to run. Running is my escape. Always has been and always will be. When life gets too hard I run.

I'm sitting in my compartment looking out the window and I became bored. So I decided to read the Daily Prophet. It looks like the ministry is still covering up the whole Voldemort thing. 'We will get him soon, no reason to worry' as quoted by the minister of magic. Don't they see it? He's not going to stop. He will keep killing and killing. A war is coming I can see it already. By the looks of it Voldemort is gaining support probably through fear. I know very little about Lord Voldemort. But I do know more than most. His real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is actually a half-blooded wizard. I also know he attended Hogwarts. Tom was a very good student; he was even Head Boy. I suspect that he is also Salazar Slytherin's heir. Actually I know he his. People say he is insane but even if he is he is a genius. He gains support through fear. People fear him and that gives him more power. They even started to call him he-who-must-not-be-named. Sounds a little cocky don't it. Voldemort is killing more and more every day. He is a threat that should not be kept hidden. Voldemort's greatest fear is death. How do I know this you may ask? He kills everybody that's in his way. He uses his greatest fear to put fear into everybody else's mind. Pretty smart if I do say so myself.

Some first years walked in, I gave them the coldest glare. They ran away.

If I were them, I would have run away to. In my normal form I have long auburn hair and starling emerald eyes. I would be considered 'beautiful, stunning, charming.' At Beaubatons I had a ton of guys drooling over me. It was kind of sickening when I think about it. I had to change my appearance here at Hogwarts. One of my many shields to hide my secrets. I had to dye my hair black. (Magically, so I can turn it back whenever I wanted). I also have to hide my emerald eyes. So I put on black contacts. I look really scary. I look in the mirror in my bathroom and a single tear escaped from my eye. I missed the old me and I knew that I had to change my looks. Clothing wise I will be wearing baggy and uglier clothing at Hogwarts. It's so much different then my tight halter top and mini skirt outfits from Beuxbatons. If my friends saw me right now I doubt they would recognize me. I don't even think I recognize my self.

My most prized possession is my guitar. Surprisingly I have a good singing voice. I must have inherited it from my mother. Writing songs is the only way I can show the pain I feel inside. If you look at my songs you will see the true Lily not my façade. When I am singing my songs it's the only time I feel at peace with myself and the world around me.

My second passion is running. I love the feeling of my longs about to explode. Also running let's me sort out my life. What I need to do. Let me tell you I run a lot and often. Almost always you can catch me running in the early hours of the morning.

Quidditch. Ahhhh… the many joys of Quidditch. I was a seeker at Beuxbatons and I was the best. Not to sound cocky or anything. My house won every Quidditch cup since I joined the team in my first year. Flying lets me leave my worries behind. Flying comes in handing when I need to forget about my life and all the problems with it.

Perfection. God I hate that word. That's what everybody wants me to be. I need to be the perfect queen, the perfect daughter, the perfect Quidditch player; I need to be the perfect student, the perfect dark arts sorcerer and the perfect personal slave to my adoptive family. Perfection haunts me and I don't know how to get rid of it. As of right now I need to be the perfect cold-hearted witch. I can't make any mistakes.

Some more people walked in, I gave them a cold glare and if they asked me a question I would give the a cold and curt answer. Many people dislike me already.

Oh boy, We arrived. Notice how I am jumping for joy. Sarcastically of course. When I was exiting the train one thought rang through my head 'Perfection, is a flaw'.


	3. The Sorting

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters you recognize. Please Don't Sue Me.

**Chapter Three**: The Sorting

I walked out of the train in the coldest manner possible. I am watching some of the students. They saw me and I know they already labeled me cold and heartless and probably a Slytherin. Oh. I am going to have so much fun here at Hogwarts. I honestly didn't know where to go so I walked up to this big guy, Hagrid I think his name was.

"Hello. Do you know where I should go?" I asked.

"Are you Lily Evans?" the big guy asked.

"Yes" I replied cool and calmly.

"Well I'm Rubeus Hagrid. And you will be taking the normal carriages to Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore thought that maybe you wouldn't like to ride with the first years on the boat to Hogwarts. Just make sure you find Professor McGonagal when your up at the Castle." Replied Hagrid.

I muttered some sort of goodbye and walked to the threstles. I entered the carriage and began my journey to the castle I will call home for the next few months. Most people can't see them. The people that can see them were considered to have bad luck but if you can see them means you saw somebody die. I f course seen people die, many people die in fact. Due to my fathers 'work' and the way he died. I sometimes feel bad for the threstles. They are feared just because they are not understood. Just like werewolves. Just because someone was bitten by some wolf does not mean that they should be shunned for the rest of their life. People nowadays are so prejudice they don't even realize it. I think it's wrong, Just because somebody is different does not mean you have to treat him or her like a freak. Yippee we are here. I loathe this place already. I walked up to this stern and proper looking woman, I figured her to be Professor McGonagol. I think she hates me already.

"Are you Miss Evans?" Asked the woman.

I can only node my head in reply, my eyes still cold and distant.

"My name is Professor McGonagol and I am the transfiguration teacher here at Hogwarts. I am also the Head of Gryffindor. There are four houses Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Any rule breaking will make you lose points and any achievements gain your house points." Said the Professor.

During this whole speech thing all I could do is nod and try to pay attention. I entered the Great Hall with the other first years about to be sorted. Honestly how can you be nervous? Your placed in your house based on you personal qualities. It will be kind of hard to be placed in the wrong house. Speaking of being sorted how are we being sorted. A professor walked in with a raggedy old hat on a stool. Is that it? Note to Self: Look up information on the sorting hat. Then the hat started singing in an off-pitch voice but surprisingly very intriguing. The hat went into detail about the four houses and the sorting started. I knew I would be last so I stood in the back to avoid first years from bumping into me. I kept my cold eyes and expressionless face on the whole time.

The last of the first-years were sorted and Dumbledore stood up and said, "This year we have a new student her name is Lily Evans and she is in the fifth year and from Beaubatons." I heard the whispers about me being a Slytherin already.

Now it's my turn to walk up to the stool and place the hat on over my head. It started to talk to me.

"Hmmm… very interesting. My oh my, the heir of Grindelwald and the heir of the ice queen. Very peculiar. One an image of Evil another an image of pure good. You are a very powerful witch with wisdom beyond your years. You are going to do great things. Most people look at you and see Slytherin but you are a true Gryffindor. You have the biggest heart then anyone I have seen. All your decisions are based of concern for everyone besides you. Don't be afraid to show your true colors Lilliana Catalin. You are the best witch that I have seen in centuries. " Then the hat shouted Gryffindor.

I was greeted by silence. I must have been under the hat for a while. Also people probably marked me as a Slytherin. I walked over to the Gryffindor table and took a seat at the end of the table were nobody sat. This year is going to be interesting.


End file.
